Biblical Counselling for Christian Couples
- Jason Chang
- Jul 17
- 3 min read
Most marriage counselling teaches couples to communicate better. That's genuinely useful, and it still isn't enough on its own. Two people can learn to fight fairly with each other and still be quietly building their whole life together on sand.
Biblical counselling for couples starts from somewhere different: with what marriage actually is. Not a contract between two people optimising for their own satisfaction, but a covenant made together before God. That difference changes everything about what we work on together.
I see Christian couples online across British Columbia and Alberta, and I'd be glad to walk with the two of you.
What makes this different from standard marriage counselling
Standard couples therapy generally treats conflict as a skills problem to be solved. Learn to listen better, learn to de-escalate, learn to repair after a fight. These are real skills, and I do use some of them in our work together.
But technique on its own doesn't answer the questions sitting underneath a struggling marriage. What am I actually worshipping, deep down, when I need so badly to win this argument? What am I quietly trusting my spouse to be for me, that only God was ever meant to be? Why does their failure feel, in the moment, like the absolute end of the world?
Those are heart questions, and I believe Scripture answers them. Communication training, however well-intentioned, simply doesn't reach that far down.
What we work through
Marriage gets examined together through Ephesians 5 and Genesis 2 --- not held over you as rules to enforce, but offered as a picture of what you're actually living inside. Common ground we cover together:
Recurring conflict --- looking for the pattern underneath the arguments, not just refereeing the arguments themselves
Bitterness and unforgiveness --- worked through using Matthew 18 and Colossians 3, where real forgiveness is neither pretending nor quietly keeping score
Disconnection --- for when you're functioning more like roommates than spouses, and neither of you can quite remember when that started
Sexual difficulty --- addressed honestly and without embarrassment, within a biblical understanding of the marriage bed
Crisis of trust --- including after betrayal, where I won't pretend the work is quick, but the hope is real
Parenting conflict --- for two people who love the very same children and still can't agree how to raise them
Do both of us need to be Christians?
For couples work, honestly, it matters more than it does when I'm seeing someone individually. This counselling assumes both of you accept Scripture's authority --- it's the very foundation the whole work stands on.
If one of you doesn't hold that conviction, please just be honest with me about it in the consultation. It doesn't automatically rule out us working together, but it does change what's genuinely possible, and I would much rather say so upfront than have either of you discover it in session four.
What about the local church?
I believe change happens best inside real Christian community, and counselling was never meant to replace the body of Christ. I'm glad to work in coordination with your local church, wherever you'd like me to. Many couples find, honestly, that the accountability and encouragement of their own church does more sustained good over time than any single hour with me ever could.
If your pastor referred the two of you here, I'm glad to stay in appropriate contact with him --- always with your consent, and never without it.
When counselling isn't the right first step
I want to be completely straight with you about this, because it matters too much not to be. If there's abuse in your marriage, couples counselling can be actively dangerous --- it can hand an abusive spouse a new set of tools and a captive audience, and I won't put you in that position. That situation needs safety addressed first, separately, and not a joint session with both of you in the room.
If that's your situation, please say so in the consultation, even if it's hard to say. I will help you find the right next step, even if that step isn't me.
What it costs
Couple sessions run fifty minutes at $175. The initial fifteen-minute consultation is free. If you don't have insurance coverage, please just ask about a reduced rate --- I would truly rather you ask than quietly decide on your own that you can't afford help.
Full rates are posted openly here, along with where your fee goes --- I don't take a salary from this practice, and I'd rather you both know that going in.
Start with a conversation
The free consultation is for both of you, together. We'll talk honestly about what's happening in your marriage, whether this approach genuinely fits you, and what the work together might actually look like.
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